Who are we really?
And where does it come from? And why do we believe the things that are said about who we are that is not the "truth"? And why do we continue to say who someone is that is also not the truth?
Growing up as a child I can remember all the things my mom would say who I am that is not true. Things like I am not as smart as one of my sisters or I am not as pretty. How often do you say things like that to someone or about someone? As a child, I did not get that. But as an adult, I realize that it has no truth to it because our intelligence and expertise and strengths varies and truly is not apple to apple. I also realized that perception of beauty differs for every person as well and that I also had no problems with the boys growing up. But can you imagine if something like that was told to someone and they believed it?
I see and hear these type of destructive behavior with other parents, teachers, friends, and even strangers. Judgmental words that are not true nor constructive. They are destructive beliefs that can become a self limiting belief that a person adopts. When a person hears something so negative and destructive about who they are and what they are not, people can start believing that this is true and become victims in their life without even realizing it. They also disregard that they always have a choice in the matter or situation; but they don't see it because the self limiting belief has completely blinded them.
I volunteered for years at Big Brother and Big Sister Program and I remember kids would tell me what their parents, family members, friends, and teachers would say to them about them that is negative and destructive. And they would ask me if that is true about them. But when they shared this with me, they were so convinced that it is true. I was amazed that most of the kids had the issues. The fact that they are in the program said a lot. Typically, kids that are in the program are considered "at risk" kids. Meaning, they are acting up or behaving badly to the point that it is out of control in the parents perspective. So they decide to bring them to the program to help them because they cannot do it. Most of the kids were not extremely problematic actually. There were some that was truly destructive. But what we discovered was that most of the destructive thoughts and behaviors came from the home; things that was said to them about them, destroying their esteem and confidence, competitiveness, lack of real talks, lack of disciplining, and lack of true quality time. And watching TV together is not quality time. Things they learned and adopted from their parents and their environment but majority of the parents were in denial that they played a part in that.
I hear parents say, "your a girl, girls don't do that type of work/job", "we are a poor family and we go to work at an early age and school is the last of our priority", "you are just like your father, lazy and bad tempered". How many times have you heard similar statements in your life? Probably a lot.
How does this affect a child? A child that will become an adult; our next generation of people that may become future leaders, managers, teachers, parents, friends, and etc. I don't know one person including myself that spends their adult life fixing their childhood pain, changing the negative pattern, and learning the hard way the ways they have learned that is no longer working for them anymore. Often times, triggered through chaos, heartache, catastrophe, or hitting rock bottom. But then there are people, that still spends their adult life with their blinders on and cannot see their own blind spots. And still cannot see their choice in everything; including the NOW. We have a choice in how we react, interpret, and how something will form us or become a part of us. We have a choice in the type of person we want to be, life we want to live, and what we want to stand for.
It has been scientifically proven that we are not our environment. It is our choice in what we believe we can and cannot do. We only inherit so many things from our parents; ie our color hair, body shape, eyes, etc. But our talents, skills, personality, IQ, emotional inteligence, wisdom, strength, courage, capacity, and how we will become has nothing to do with our DNA. But has everything to do with our own biology of our beliefs.
Biblically, you read the word "I am" in reference to God. I find that to be so fascinating and interesting. Does that mean I am who I say I am? Meaning, if you say "I am bad", then your belief system believes that also; therefore, your actions, choices, and words will follow. We are what we say we are.
If that is the case, then why can't we just create environment for our kids and our loved ones that is non judgmental, supportive, non competitive, and loving. And to believe in each other and the good that is in all of us. But we continue to project our own issues and damages to others without even realizing the ripple effect.
Please post your thoughts, comments, and responses below. Your feedback to the topic is valuable.
Zensitive
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