In the last year, I have realized that authentic and genuine love, is the only thing that matters. I am and have been guilty of getting caught up with the noise around me; how I should be for this person, compromising the person that I am, what I can do for this person, what this person needs of me, and etc. Then I finally stopped and asked myself the question “What truly matters?”. I realized that "Real Love" is what matters and I also realized what real love means. And real love includes: receiving love, giving love, and recognizing love. And most of all, how love includes our love for ourself and what we do need.
In one of my conversations a couple of days ago, Thor (alias name referred in this blog) said to me “Happiness is the only thing that matters”. So, I thought to myself, you cannot achieve “authentic” happiness without love. Does he even understand what real love is? Does he even recognize it when it is in front of him? Does he even know how to give love? Does he even know how to receive it?
Achieving “happiness” differs for every person and also has different degrees. Being filthy rich, being a mother or father, having a family, losing that weight, having the dream job, having that car or specific material items, being married, attention, fame, being popular, being the #1 athlete, and the list goes on. We say…“If I can only have…, I will be happy”. We receive the temporary happiness but do not last very long. Haven’t you met people that are just not happy people in general? Or individuals that most people stay away from; if they could help it?
For some reason it is hard for me to believe that a person can truly obtain real lasting happiness without love. I also think that we don’t understand the magnitude or meaning of the word, how to receive love, recognize love, or give love.
Love is attached to every form; let it be with your relationship with friends, family, spouse, significant other, your neighbor, the community, in-laws, your work, your customers, colleagues, bosses, and strangers. Love is attached to your genuine dreams and passion. Love is attached to the desire of becoming your best self. Love is attached to loving yourself; the person you want to be and the person you want to stand for. We often hear love is GOD. And if GOD is everywhere and in everything; which means it is also in you. But we often look for love outside of ourselves.Or we forget or overcompromise our love for ourself.
One of my favorite passages in the Bible is the passage in Corinthians. Because it exemplifies what real love means.We mostly hear this passage in weddings or affiliated with romantic love. But this passage represents how we should love ourselves and others; not just romantically. It says:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”
Some of us may struggle with giving love, some with recognizing love, and some with receiving love. In that passage: Rejoices with the "truth" stands out to me. I strongly believe that we are meant to be happy and to strive for our heartfelt goals and genuine dreams. But I also think that in order for it to be realized, we have to be authentic, so truth can emerge. Truth is love. Love is genuine happiness. We struggle from benefiting from genuine happiness if we have not looked deeply at ourselves and past. Our past shapes the present situations and defines the future. History repeats itself.
We fuel our denial to keep the truth from illuminating. We find plenty of things, excuses and blaming others; until it destroys you in the unrighteous life you live, the effects on your children, friends, spouses, and family; and empty meaningless life. We would find anything that distracts our mind and soul from turning inward. The lies we convince ourselves is far more damaging than the lies you tell others. I am sure that you have met people or know people that are not authentic and blame everything on the other person or circumstance. My friend once said “That is a sign of a person who is not authentic and in denial”. Denial of reality; let it be past or the present. Denial is hell.
Truth is scary and frightening. The reality of seeing ourselves authentically is frightening and hurts to look at the most. But it also heals only to the extent that we do look. Truth is uncomfortable and demands us and knocks us down from our stubbornness, procrastination, and complacency. The irony is, I have seen denial from Christians that verbally “declare” they are superior, holy, and more righteous than non Christians. Does that come from love? Or being judgmental? These are the Christians that give good Christians a bad name. Nobody is exempt from doing the work. Because truth forces us to move; to say or do what we need to do to achieve our best self and hearts desire. Truth forces us to face our fears and stand up for the real "truth" and principles. Truth forces you to be true to who you really are. Truth forces you to be the best you can be in everything you are and do. Denial separates you from the person you are meant to be; your best self; which is the same as separating you from GOD. When you are separated and deny the truth and GOD, how can you achieve authentic happiness when we don't even know what real love is.
Please post below your thoughts, comments, feedback to the topic; it is welcomed and valuable.
Zensitive
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